Lesson 5 of 16 · Level 2: Intermediate
How to Give and Receive Feedback (the SBI Model)
- ⏱ 12 min read
- ❓ 4 review questions
- ✍️ Exercise with solution
In this lesson
- The Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) model from the Center for Creative Leadership, step by step.
- Word-for-word scripts for praise, correction, peer feedback and feedback to your boss.
- Why the "feedback sandwich" backfires and what Kim Scott's Radical Candor suggests instead.
- How to receive feedback without getting defensive, even when it stings.
- How a restaurant shift manager in Atlanta fixed chronic lateness with one SBI conversation.
Feedback is information about how someone's behavior affects results and people, given so they can keep doing what works and change what doesn't. Done well, it's the fastest way to improve performance and build trust. Done badly ("You need to be more professional"), it creates confusion and resentment. The Situation-Behavior-Impact model fixes the most common problem: feedback that's too vague to act on.
Why most feedback doesn't work
- It's vague: "Great job" and "Be more proactive" don't tell anyone what to repeat or change.
- It judges the person: "You're careless" attacks identity and triggers defensiveness.
- It's late: saving it for the annual review means nobody remembers the details.
- It's one-way: the manager talks, the employee nods, nothing changes.
The SBI model, step by step
The Situation-Behavior-Impact tool was developed by the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL), a nonprofit leadership research and education organization based in Greensboro, North Carolina. It has three parts:
- SituationAnchor the when and where"In yesterday's 2 p.m. client call…" Specific time and place, so you both picture the same moment.
- BehaviorDescribe what you saw or heardOnly observable actions, what a video camera would record: "…you interrupted Maya twice while she was presenting the numbers."
- ImpactShare the effectOn you, the team, the customer or the result: "…she stopped talking, and the client never heard our recommendation."
- Then askInvite their view"What was going on for you?" CCL's extended version adds this step, often called intent, because good people sometimes cause bad impact by accident.
Behavior vs. judgment
| Judgment (avoid) | Observable behavior (use) |
|---|---|
| "You were rude to the customer." | "You said 'That's not my problem' and turned back to the register." |
| "You don't care about deadlines." | "The report was due Monday at noon and arrived Wednesday." |
| "You're a great team player." | "You stayed 20 minutes to train Alex on the new fryer." |
| "You seem disengaged." | "Your camera was off and you didn't speak in the last three planning meetings." |
1. Which statement describes a behavior in SBI terms?
Only the second can be observed and recorded. "Unprofessional" is a judgment, and "didn't care" is a guess about intent, both of which make people defensive.
Scripts for four common situations
| Situation | What to say |
|---|---|
| Reinforcing (praise) | "At this morning's huddle, you walked the new hires through the safety checklist line by line. Two of them told me it was the first time it made sense. Please keep doing that." |
| Redirecting (correction) | "In Tuesday's standup, when Jordan raised the API issue, you said 'That's not a real problem.' He didn't bring up anything else for the rest of the meeting, and we found the bug two days later. What was going on for you?" |
| Peer to peer | "Can I share something from the vendor meeting? When you committed to the Friday date without checking with my team, we had to rearrange two other projects. Next time, can we sync before committing?" |
| Upward (to your boss) | "Can I give you some feedback on Monday's all-hands? When you mentioned the reorg in one sentence at the end, my team spent the afternoon worried about their jobs. Would you be open to a short follow-up note?" |
A quick "Do you have five minutes for some feedback on the client call?" signals respect and lets the person get ready. For praise, just give it, the sooner the better.
Care personally, challenge directly
In Radical Candor (2017), former Google and Apple executive Kim Scott describes good feedback as the intersection of two dimensions: caring personally about the person and being willing to challenge them directly. Missing either one leads to a familiar failure:
Praise, criticism, praise sounds kind, but it trains people to brace for bad news whenever you compliment them, and the correction often gets lost between the two slices. Give praise and correction separately, each with its own SBI, and be honest about which one you're giving.
2. A manager tells a struggling employee, "You're doing fine, don't worry," because she doesn't want to hurt his feelings. Six months later he's put on a performance plan and is shocked. In Kim Scott's framework, this is:
She cared personally but failed to challenge directly. The "kindness" ended up hurting him much more than early, clear feedback would have.
Real case: lateness at an Atlanta restaurant
Jerome Bell, the Saturday shift manager in Midtown Atlanta, had a server, Tasha, who arrived late six times in one month. He'd made a few jokes about it ("Nice of you to join us"), which changed nothing. He switched to SBI in a private conversation before her next shift:
Jerome: "Tasha, got five minutes for some feedback? On six shifts this month, including the last two Saturdays, you clocked in 10 to 20 minutes after your 4 p.m. start. When that happens, DeShawn has to cover your section during setup, and last Saturday he missed his own side work, so we opened two tables short. What's going on?"
Tasha: "My bus changed its schedule. The one I used to take now gets in at 4:10."
Jerome: "Thanks for telling me. Would starting at 4:15 work if you close 15 minutes later? Or is there an earlier bus?"
One specific conversation fixed what a month of jokes didn't, because the "intent" question surfaced a problem Jerome could actually solve.
Jerome also tracked his own habits. In four weeks he gave 29 pieces of SBI feedback: 22 reinforcing and 7 redirecting.
Jerome's four-week feedback log. There's no magic ratio, but specific praise that clearly outnumbers correction makes the correction easier to hear.
3. Tasha's late arrivals went from 6 a month to 1. By what percentage did they drop?
(6 − 1) ÷ 6 = 5 ÷ 6 = 0.833, an 83.3% drop. 16.7% is the share that remains (1 ÷ 6).
How to receive feedback
In Thanks for the Feedback (2014), Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen of the Harvard Negotiation Project explain that we reject feedback because of three triggers: truth triggers ("That's just wrong"), relationship triggers ("Who are you to tell me?") and identity triggers ("I'm a failure"). Recognizing which one fired helps you separate the message from your reaction. Then follow this sequence:
- Thank: "Thank you for telling me. I know that's not easy."
- Clarify: "Can you give me a specific example? What would you suggest I do differently?"
- Reflect later: "Let me think about that." You don't have to agree on the spot.
- Close the loop: "You mentioned I cut people off in standups. I've been working on it. Have you noticed a difference?"
Better yet, ask for it before anyone has to volunteer it. Specific requests get specific answers: "What's one thing I could do to make our one-on-ones more useful?" works far better than "Any feedback for me?"
Saving feedback for the annual review.
Give it within a day or two, while the details are fresh.
Giving redirecting feedback in front of the team.
Praise in public if the person likes it; correct in private.
Using "always" and "never."
Name specific instances: "the last three reports."
Defending yourself when you receive feedback.
Thank, ask for an example, and decide later what to do with it.
4. Your peer says your status reports are "too long." Your first thought is, "She never reads anything anyway." Which trigger fired, according to Stone and Heen?
You're reacting to who is giving the feedback, not to whether it's accurate. Separate the two: the reports might really be too long, even if you have issues with the messenger.
Practice exercise
Rewrite each comment using SBI, inventing reasonable details. Add an intent question to the redirecting ones.
- To a warehouse associate: "Good hustle today."
- To a remote analyst: "Your reports are sloppy."
- To a nurse on your unit: "You need a better attitude with families."
See solution
- Reinforcing: "This morning when the 7 a.m. truck showed up two hours early (S), you reorganized the dock and unloaded it with Carlos before the next one arrived (B). We kept the whole outbound schedule on time and nobody had to stay late (I). Thank you."
- Redirecting: "In Monday's sales report (S), the Midwest total didn't match the regional tabs, and two charts were missing labels (B). The VP questioned the whole report in front of her team, and I spent an hour re-checking numbers (I). What happened on this one?"
- Redirecting: "Last night around 9 p.m., when Mr. Lopez's daughter asked about his medication (S), you answered 'It's in the chart' and walked out of the room (B). She came to the desk upset and asked to speak with me (I). Can you walk me through what was happening at that moment?"
Notice that none of the rewrites use labels like "sloppy" or "attitude." Each describes what a camera would have recorded.
Summary
- SBI, from the Center for Creative Leadership: Situation (when and where), Behavior (what a camera would record), Impact (the effect).
- After the impact, ask about intent: "What was going on for you?"
- Kim Scott's Radical Candor: care personally and challenge directly. Avoid Ruinous Empathy.
- Skip the feedback sandwich; give praise and correction separately and promptly.
- To receive feedback: notice your trigger, thank, clarify, reflect and close the loop.
Next lesson: How to Delegate Without Losing Control. You'll learn the seven levels of delegation, a delegation script and how to calculate when delegating pays off.
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